It is a simply story of boy meets cable, boy loves cable, boy kills cable and gets an even better one as a result. Hollywood stuff.
So, being a bit of a prevaricator, I was rummaging around near the internet service box in my house doing something or other. You know, the usual ferreting about in dark places attempting to avoid doing the thing I probably should be doing. Anyway, during the aforementioned rummage un the cupboard under the stairs, I knocked said service box open with my elbow. Thinking nothing of it, I went to close it again.
This was my first mistake.
The gentlest of pushes upon the service box door seemed not to return it to its plastic abode, so I pushed a little harder, thinking nothing of its obstinance.
This was my second mistake.
Little did I know, but the fiber cable - the thin, puny blue one that goes from the small white box to the bigger white box with the flashy lights, and down which travels the cares and history of all mankind - had decided that this was its moment to make a bid for freedom. I, in this careless moment of rectification, had unwittingly trapped it mid escape-attempt betwixt box door and cover.
In this instant our thin glass friend was unprepared for two things. One - the terrifying nature of the contents of my cupboard under the stairs, for in all honesty, who truly is? And two, more so, the leverage duly applied upon it by my door closery. So, but a moment later, the tiniest "click" signalled The Death of the Internet.
And then, oh... and then...
THE WAILING AND GNASHING OF TEETH FROM TWO DISTRAUGHT CHILDREN
Daddy killed the internet. And with it, all hope of future lives and joy in the world. Or, so it seemed to my 8 and 10yo kids. You Fool. You utter inglorious fool. The words I uttered at that very moment have since meant I have been crowned British Free-Style Scat-Swearing Champion for the second time, a mere three years after my first, glorious victory when stubbing my big toe on the leg of the bed two at 2am.
On the up side, just £7 and a day later this cable fixed it. And it's even quicker that the puny blue one! Hurrah!
So yes, if you've ever found yourself accidentally guillotining a pathetically protected life-critical cable during a moment of spontaneous cupboard rummagery, then look no further, this is for you!
Bravo Elfcam, bravo.
PS. no pictures added for fear of opening that blimmin box again...
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